Hanna F. Cross

[Hey everybody, look, Hanna's up on the balcony of the Winchester place! Once again, he's 14 years old, skinny and awkwarder than usual. And he's focused on setting up what appear to be fireworks.]

Okay, so if this works right, I'm gonna get an amazing firework spectacle to impress everybody...if it doesn't work, Mom's gonna kill me and I may lose an arm. I wish Sam was here to help, he's a wiz at fireworks...

I should go ask Dulcie for help. We can use our twin powers or something to make sure this works properly!

[Why yes, Hanna IS talking to himself. He does that a lot, and after making sure his fireworks are secure and he doesn't have the lighters or anything with him, he goes to find Dulcie.]

HEY DULS, WANNA HELP ME WITH SOMETHING?

[Hanna checks his pockets, before nodding, letting out a cough that he shakes off quickly. He's managed to avoid the hospital up until this point, claiming that he's just sick. Partially, he is. This always happens after many big, bad spells...and it usually lasts longer in the City, since Worth isn't there to fix him up and treat him right.

Of course, he's more than just sick, but he does such a good job of deluding himself otherwise.]

Okay...present for Dean, flowers for Sam...I got everything I need, yep. Hope they don't mind me coming over...wouldn't blame Dean if he wanted to punch me a few times. I sort of deserve it...

[He sighs quietly, trying to shake off those feelings of self loathing and guilt. It doesn't really work, but he can fake it. Sam doesn't need to see that right now.]

Okay. Smile, Hanna. You smile long enough, you'll feel better. Let's go see the Winchester bros.

[He nods, smiling a little as he goes off, mumbling to himself that 'things will be okay', 'Sam doesn't hate you', and similar thoughts.

He manages to make it a little more than halfway there before he breaks out into another coughing fit, worse than the ones that had come before. True, he's suffering from bad magical side effects...but they're amplified by the internal injuries he sustained fighting Lucifer that he's refused to see a doctor over.]

...stupid...stupid magic...c'mon, we're almost there...

[He tries to fight through the coughing fit, but fails to, and he fumbles with his device, turning it off before he passes out.]

[ooc: Sam, I blame you completely for this. You encouraged me, and now look.

...I swear, this will be the last awful, non-plot related thing I do to Hanna for a while. Promise.]

Errr...I have good news and bad news.

Good news is I finally figured out how to get rid of the stupid cursed coin!

...Bad news is I didn't do it in time.

[Hanna turns on the camera for a minute, revealing that his foot is severely injured.]

...yeah...I wish I remember what happened...I think I got hit on the head and passed out and then when I woke up, my foot was broken...

...Euphie or Sam, dya think one of you could help me get to a hospital...?

Or...Dean, maybe you could help me out?

I think if Gallahad came back now, and he saw me, he'd just be so mad at me...I keep telling myself, 'it's okay, he's home, they're all home and you know where they are' so that I'll actually take care of myself, but...doesn't help.

Actually, that makes it a whole lot worse. Because they're there, and I'm here. And I never had friends before at home, not ever. I was the guy that society forgot, but that was okay because I was used to that. And I had my apartment and my job and I could do my investigating and nobody would bother me...even if I wanted them to.

But then Gallahad showed up and I had a friend, for the first time in my life, and now I don't know what to do without him. Or them. Or anybody here.

Because I have friends here...and I lose them too. Doumeki, Timothy, Zuko, Watanuki, Thomas and Harry, I really liked all of them, and I lost them. But with them...

...It's not the same, because I DON'T know where they are or if they're safe.
I just worry and I can't stop thinking about them. And they don't know who I am anymore, so it's pointless too.
And someday, the other people I really care about here are gonna leave too...Sam and Dean and Euphie and Doll and Penny, and so many others, they're gonna go home to places that I can't understand or be friends with them in. Like our friendship never really happened. And with Sam and Doll and Penny and Euphie, it's even worse...I haven't had a family since I was 16. And I've got one again, and it's absolutely wonderful and I love it...

But it's not forever. One day it's gonna end and it'll be like that family never existed. Just like when I was 16.

...And someday, I'm gonna be all alone again. Just like before Gallahad. Only this time, I'll know what it's like to actually have friends.

And I don't think I'll be able to go back to being alone again so easily...I mean, Gallahad's been gone for about 2 months, and I'm only just starting to clean up the apartment, I'm still not eating right, and I haven't really been able to sleep a whole night in 2 months.

's stupid. He always kept the nightmares away, just by being there...and I can't ask anybody else to help with that, because the rest of the world needs to sleep to.
Heh. I think part of me was in love with him, because I'd never had that kind of friend before...I think part of me is in love with all the people I'm really close to here. Some maybe more than others. That makes it ever worse...

...I'm just waiting for the day when everybody else leaves. Or the day I go home and they've all forgotten me or moved on. I know one of those days is coming...I never stop thinking about it, it's always in the back of my brain eating away at every little good thing that happens here.

When I'm alone again...it's gonna be different, and it's gonna be a whole lot worse. Because I've had something I never had before.

I just hope that I'll be able to handle it again. Because right now, I don't think I can.

[ooc: Elephant in the Corner curse. Hanna's deepest fears about being alone are revealed!]

Sam! Sam, I need to ask you something about tonight!!

I'm getting soda for after dinner awesome party time, and I know you like Jones, but I don't know what exact flavor...or what chips go with said unknown flavor.

...or salsas. And movies, what movies don't suck right now? I think I managed to damage all my DVDs...yeah, I think the puppies got their claws on them. That's probably my fault, though, I left them all over the place, since I suck at cleaning...

Oh, but I did clean up the place! I figured it was probably time...it's been a while since Wilson left, he probably wouldn't like the mess anyway, and I think school made me think a lot.

Hey, I actually learned something, a...and wow, sorry, went off on a bit of a crazy tangent.

But long story short, I promised oodles of fun, and I do wanna make that happen. However, I'm not exactly sure on specifics, so...just tell me exactly what'll make you happy and I shall deliver!

...also, the kids might try to bite your ankles. They've been doing that a lot lately.

Also also, we're gonna have to go out for food for sure. See, I had this idea to maybe make you feel less guilty since it's always on me, so I tried to make food...

...Buuut I sort of broke the oven...and there's this really weird purple goo coating the inside of it now, and I don't even know what that is, since I wasn't cooking anything purple...somaybelateryoucanhelpmefixmyoven?
Dean can come to for that, since I have the funny feeling I'm gonna make that a whole lot worse...

...least it's not glowing purple ooze...man, I miss Wilson's cooking...

[PRIVATE TO ROXAS//UNHACKABLE]

Hey, Roxas, can you maybe come over tomorrow? I've got something I wanna give you, but it's a surprise.